Friday, 23 May 2014

I thought about something too much today. About Rulers.

I have a theory to prove the world is flat. It involves placing wooden school rulers end to end around the circumference of the world. How could the world possibly be curved if the rulers are all straight?

A further conspiracy. All our rulers are lying, they are all individually curved due to the Earth's gravitational field. Is the education system broken?

This must mean the only way you can measure a true straight line is in space. I propose we launch a space rocket with an construction expert on board to make a brick, this brick will be perfectly measured by a wooden ruler made with a tree grown in a special lab with tree experts on the ship. The brick will then be measured with the original wooden ruler created to measure it to test if the brick and ruler are straight.

Finally, due to the lack of gravity, humanity would of measured the only true straight line, a spirit level wouldn't work, because the bubble of air would just float, even the spirit level is biased against Earth's gravity.

I feel an adventurement coming on.

Saturday, 12 January 2013

A Brief History of Fly's Undone

Hello, let me begin by telling you a little anecdote about my groin, specifically my trousers. I'm not sure what's going on recently, I've seemed to of developed an unwitting characteristic, doing day to day tasks, I keep finding my fly undone.
 This of course; is in no way socially acceptable in circles, nor the norm. I suppose I could attempt to rejig this reoccurring calamity as some kind of fashion statement. Create a trend. "It's cool to have your fly undone!", obviously this kind of self proclaimed statement will probably fall on death ears or be utterly disregarded when attending a one on one job interview, attempting to serve an elderly customer at a till whilst doing voluntary work or helping parents with directions to the nearest school.
 I believe the cause of this problem is one of these following;

1. All of my flies on my trousers are broken.
2. I am steadily gaining weight around my torso, my trousers don't fit properly with physics and gravity collaborating on the rest.
3. Caused by the lack of a belt in recent times.
4. I have an unfeasibly large crotch area. ( I have since ruled this one out)
5. I have fell under some gypsy curse which was probably cast by some girl I used to know.
6. Magnets. Either a kid following me around with a powerful magnet on a long rod a bit like James Bond's gadget watch. That or something to do with the magnetism of the North and South pole. Probably global warming

Either way, I will keep on investigating until I have to consider plastic zips, sticky back plastic, staples and possibly chastity belts. I'll be sure to send any updates about the state of my crotch in the near future. No need to say thanks.

Monday, 18 April 2011

Well, that's that done for another week.

*Totally didn't actually do this to your probable disappointment.

Sunday, 17 April 2011

"It's the Tutoral, Instructional, Game!"

Regent St Rumble, Suspended Animation, man, those days were good. I still have the script around, anyone want to see it?

Monday, 21 February 2011

About Job Centre Advisors

  • Job Centre advisors are tortured souls loaned from Hell under special conditions to continue passing around their anguish and depression to hard working, good people trying their best to get a job and a foot in the door of life.
  • The Army has a Orbital Area Cannon hovering over every job centre in the world just in case a job centre advisor attempts to ascend to a higher state of consciousness
  • The Great Fire of London was caused by a Job Centre advisor
  • Freddy Kruger once considered being a Job Centre advisor, but didn't like the paperwork, but just decided to just ruin peoples dreams instead as that was part of the job description
  • Job Centre advisors have special, magical machines under their desk which print out jobs which get retconned by twisting time and space to being 'on the system in the first place' even though they seemingly weren't downstairs on the job point which crashed on you 10 minutes ago.
  • It is a known fact that a Job Centre Advisor would become a paradox and fail to exist if they were to lose their job, it would be too much for their tiny little minds to comprehend
  • Everytime you sign on, Job Centre Advisors take 50 pence from your payment in order to fund a utopia with plans to eradicate the 'unfortunate ones' and settle on a remote tropical island
  • The Agents in The Matrix were actually Job Centre advisor programs
  • To apply for a Job Centre advisory position, your CV must on all counts clearly mention that you've stolen candy from small children on several accounts
  • Due to budgetary reasons, 10% of Job Centre advisors have been quietly replaced by robots with 3 phrases and facial expressions which can be used in any situation.
  • Job Centre Advisors never passed on being 'it'

    * The above are far fetched satirical theories behind the puzzle that is the Job Centre advisor and are not at all true. Unless they actually turn out to be true and the special shades I got off the policeman end up working properly.

Thursday, 25 February 2010

Kratos VS Kirby

Got bored this evening. Wondered what it would look like if Kirby tried to kill Kratos.

Saturday, 20 February 2010

Top Gear: The Animated Series

Ages ago, I did a random drawing in University. For some odd reason, I was compelled to see how the presenters of Top Gear, characters in their own right would look like as cartoon characters and if if they had a wacky, adventurous animated TV series. I also drew versions of the characters for my friend Naz, inside his birthday card due to him liking them so much.

After a while of having the A3 copy on my wall, I decided to give it another bash, because I felt that Richard Hammond and James May didn't look as good as my big chinned version of Jeremy Clarkson. So after applying what I learnt recently in simple character design, I tried again. This time the other two have much more character, but some old habits of my style remain, but the Jemery Clarkson pic looks even better than before.

Anyway, this was a post exploring what Top Gear would look like as a Animated Series on CBBC or something of the like. Who knows, I might even take this pointless sidequest even further, y'know, as long as I don't get sued.


Here are some better versions of Hammond and May.

I did a painting, (and I liked it).

Yay, go me.

Now go see Brainbow Adventure how I went about making it.

Friday, 19 February 2010

The Art's Centre

On the Character Design Blog (Which you can see in my Bloglist/Blogroll) they've just announced that due to the success of Rad Sechrist's great 'How To' blog and Xav often sending things in, a collection of animators and general illustrators have created a new blog with art tips.

It's an honestly great time to be studying the basics and breakdown of animation related illustration because of the time that these artists put into tips and tricks for people like me. They really don't need to do it, but it's just great that they've chosen to.

Warm Ups for Gesture Drawing

Thanks to Drawn! I found another useful resource that I'll check more often in the future.

I thought it was worth posting this link on the main blog because I consider it to be great stuff. Warmups for gesture drawing.

Thursday, 18 February 2010

I am Scum, the secondhand gamer.


I am the scum of the Earth, I am Satanic, I am the devil worshiper, I am the person single handedly killing the game industry.



I'm a secondhand gamer and I'm proud to say this aloud. So, a recent article on N4G has triggered me into typing this. Although the article was semi-unrelated, I feel this has to be typed. I am being fed up of the game industry seeing me as scum and an inconvenience, this constant labeling in the game industry media is disheartening and annoying as an average gamer.
Everyone knows most the western world has been caught up in a recession, but of course, the game industry has to find someone to blame why they aren't making the sales they intended. This scapegoat my friend, always appears to be the secondhand gamer.

Value and patience

The fact is, if someone waits long enough, most the time, things become cheaper unless they are low in number, rare, significent or of great value. That's a fact and happens incredibly fast with videogames and seems to be increasing. According to the game industry, such as Eidos and David Jaffe, I'm a cockroach that needs to be stamped out. I'm a vampire for a publisher. Now, you look at a game that came out a few months ago, compare the original price to the value now as a secondhand game, I believe that as a 'patient' person, I have the right to get a game cheaper because I have waited longer to play the game. Why in my RIGHT MIND, would I buy a copy of a game which is brand new and is EXACTLY the same minus the fact that someone played it, got bored of it and was perfectly happy to get ripped off in trade value a mere month or two later?

Rights for The Secondhand Gamer

So what am I? Am I the tramp that walks around McDonalds and tries to eat the odd french fries and bits of Big Mac that slopped out whilst biting which have dropped on the ground? Why do I get compared to a pirate which is outright STEALING? Why hasn't this ever been a 'problem' for the game industry before?
Am I to blame for the people that actually TRADE IN THE GAMES in THE FIRST PLACE?

Fact is, I give a game a new home after being unwanted for the 'next model'. I get it cheaper because I'm patient and don't rush out to the shops to buy it day one (Don't get me wrong, I still do this for a lot of developers I'm a fan of, not all my games are secondhand, but a majority are). I go to Gamestation, Game, CEX or Amazon Marketplace, I see a vast library of previous unwanted titles, exchange MONEY for the GAME and take it home/wait for it to arrive and then play it. I have rightfully made this game my property in exchanging the money for the game. I have bought it.

Behind the rising secondhand game scenario

The problem comes down to the fact that so many games are made, that people feel that they have to trade a game for a new one or get credit towards a newly released one (see recent trade of Bioshock 2 half price for one of four games released in the last 2 months at Game) . They are impatient and need to play it day one, play it, find out they complete it faster than intended or it isn't their cup of tea because they've totally FAILED TO READ REVIEWS, sell it. Solution to this problem; RENT GAMES this way the publisher still gets the profit (I'm starting to do this now since R&C:ACiT due to financial reasons and WILL do it for Heavy Rain and GoWIII).
Another part of this problem is that the game industry are claiming and are rightly true that they get no income or profit from secondhand games when sold at game shops. Solution to this one, make the games more worthwhile to keep.

Curse of the virtual reward

An additional reason of why I believe that secondhand game trade-ins are rising is the 'virtual reward', as long as someone has a record of having completed a game and collecting the 'Achievements' and 'Trophies', well, that's the game exhausted, apparently. The game gets traded, the consumer has gotten all out of the game and moves to the next one. I know that people read books, watch DVDs and COLLECT THEM, they have them on shelves so people can walk in and go, "Ah, so you like...(insert whatever here)" and owning things can be a judge of character. I keep my games that I completed as my 'trophies' as would a big game hunter with animals heads mounted on the wall the completed closed boxes of the game and the fact I can play them again at my will, is my reward.

Besides, despite the traders doing me a favour by trading in the games so I can buy them cheaper, I consider them to be idiots to willingly get ripped off by the game shops insulting trade in value or instore credit with the wacky 'stock exchange' of game titles. I remember years ago, when the PS3 was in the dark ages (Pre-Autumn 2007) I tried to trade Resistance and Motorstorm, I was offered £7, sure these games were bundled everywhere, but the fact for both of them, the then two best exclusives on PS3 were being offered for £7 was a mere insult, especially the fact that around the corner was the same game being sold brand new for 4 times the price. I have often considered trading some of my full retail purchased games and back the hell away from the counter after getting a printout.

Digital downloads are the future!

Obviously the next stop is digital downloads. Except for a rather new company, trading secondhand digitally bought games is impossible. Now, digital downloads are a good idea, aren't they, it's a win, win situation, isn't it? WRONG. Prices will probably never drop. Against my previous prediction and statement, I have a lot of PSN games and a few XBLA titles, I like this method of distribution for small games. Valve's Steam service is a brilliant idea and the timed offers are encouraging and I guess, are the equivalent to the secondhand game.
Now, if you look at XBLA and PSN titles game from years ago, you'll notice something, a lot haven't dropped in price, do you really want a future like that? Games ALWAYS being the original retail price no matter how long they've been out? (XBLA is notorious at doing this unless you are a Gold member, followed by Wiiware which never really drop in price and PSN is rather sensible with limited price drops and offers bundles such as Warhawk, much like Steam). But heck, I like the idea of playing a 'used' game and physically own it and treat it with a level of respect, complete it and leave it to play the experience another day.

In closing

Again, I am stubborn scum. I poison the game industry and lower developers wages, I cause the chain reaction and butterfly effect of a studio to close down if enough copies of a game aren't sold, in this climate I am likely to buy a game mere months after a studio closes, according to the people out there (I won't even start with Bobby Kotick from Activision) because I choose to sometimes go game shopping at Gamestation, Game, CEX, Ebay or Amazon Marketplace. I see myself as someone with exactly the same hobby as the people that rush out in the first month, I just wait and pay less. I have the RIGHT to buy a game cheaper. If the industry have a problem with that, go and annoy the stores to hand in money to each publisher with each sale, but then that'll cause the secondhand games to go higher, because of the loss of money from the game stores, eh? So here's some words to the industry, I'm not complaining, just stop making the games so worthless that someone would play it to death, get the Achievement and Trophies and then willingly get ripped off in trading it, then PERHAPS I would find less cheap copies. I exchange money for the games in a completely legal fashion, I have the RIGHT to play them without being labeled as 'an inconvenience'. I'm not stopping anytime soon.

Who's with me?

Epilogue; List of secondhand games acquired in the last 5 years

PS3; Condemed 2, Fallout 3, The Chronicles of Riddick:AoDA, Racing Driver GRID, Mercenaries 2, Lego Star Wars: Complete Saga

; God of War: CoO, Metal Slug Anthology, EA Replay, Crash Tag Team Racing, Darkstalkers Chronicles, Mega Drive Collection, Capcom Classics Collection Remixed, Capcom Classics Collection Reloaded, Medievil Resurrection, Every Extend Extra, Gitaroo Man Lives!, Crazy Tax: Fare Wars, GTA:VCS, GTA:LCS, Powerstone Collection, Burnout Legends, Gripshift, Infected, Secret Agent Clank

PS2; Tekken 5, The Warriors, Prince of Persia Trilogy, Rayman 10th Anniversary, Rogue Trooper, Timesplitters, Sly Racoon, Alter Echo, Okami, Destroy All Humans!, Destroy All Humans! 2, God of War, God of War 2, Gungrave, Timesplitters 2, Metal Arms, Soul Calibur 2, Ratchet and Clank, Ratchet and Clank 2, Ratchet and Clank 3, Ratchet Gladiator, Second Sight, Shadow of Rome, Super Monkey Ball Deluxe, The Matrix: Path of Neo, Rez, Shadow of the Colossus, Psi-Ops, Canis Canem Edit (Bully), The Suffering: TTB

360; Lost Planet, Stranglehold, Assassins Creed, Burnout Revenge, Dead Rising, Prey, Condemned, Halo 3, Fusion Frenzy 2, Crackdown, Bioshock, Gears of War, Mass Effect

Red Steel, Geometry Wars Galaxies, No More Heroes, Destroy all Humans! Big Willy Unleashed (Wii console was also secondhand with Wii Sports and Sonic Unleashed)

Some of these were also ex-rental and came without original packaging.

Thank you for your time.

This was posted on N4G about 5 minutes ago as a submitted blog