Friday, 26 January 2007

Escape from Wrexham

"Hey man, its me, Hair Russel. Or Freker 'Snake' Pissedkin. Christ! agggh!
I've got to 'Escape from Wrexham' today using the form of post apocalyptic metal boxes called 'trains'. All this freaking new technology goes over my head, just give me a guys neck to break purely with my eye patch, its far better to understand.
As much as I hate freaking trains its gotta be done. Agh. Just give me something simple to do like rip a crocodiles head off with my bare teeth.
With a hangover in my head that could blow my head up over the next 24 hours, I have to pick up and rescue the PS2 and possibly the Xbox and come back again, in one piece.

North Wales, Wrexham
Freker is walled in a maximum security university campus.
Breaking out is impossible,
Going to Blackpool is insane.

I've gotta go to this godforsaken place; Blackpool, a converted town that now holds all the nation of Britain's criminals, ASBOs and scum of the Earth. I'll just simply tear their pubes off and wear them as a toupee.
Rescuing the PS2 and Xbox from the gangs of Fleetwood should be pretty damned easy, agh. As long as I take my trusty pistol with me and take out the 'Codhead' gang and the 'Chavs' and avoid the damn freaking Wii devices. Those freaking cig adverts freak me out too. I'm not 'hooked', I just find it slightly more relaxing to have one whilst smashing a guys kneecaps in and watch him cry."

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