Hello, let me begin by telling you a little anecdote about my groin, specifically my trousers. I'm not sure what's going on recently, I've seemed to of developed an unwitting characteristic, doing day to day tasks, I keep finding my fly undone.
This of course; is in no way socially acceptable in circles, nor the norm. I suppose I could attempt to rejig this reoccurring calamity as some kind of fashion statement. Create a trend. "It's cool to have your fly undone!", obviously this kind of self proclaimed statement will probably fall on death ears or be utterly disregarded when attending a one on one job interview, attempting to serve an elderly customer at a till whilst doing voluntary work or helping parents with directions to the nearest school.
I believe the cause of this problem is one of these following;
1. All of my flies on my trousers are broken.
2. I am steadily gaining weight around my torso, my trousers don't fit properly with physics and gravity collaborating on the rest.
3. Caused by the lack of a belt in recent times.
4. I have an unfeasibly large crotch area. ( I have since ruled this one out)
5. I have fell under some gypsy curse which was probably cast by some girl I used to know.
6. Magnets. Either a kid following me around with a powerful magnet on a long rod a bit like James Bond's gadget watch. That or something to do with the magnetism of the North and South pole. Probably global warming
Either way, I will keep on investigating until I have to consider plastic zips, sticky back plastic, staples and possibly chastity belts. I'll be sure to send any updates about the state of my crotch in the near future. No need to say thanks.